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Ted: You know what we should do?
Marshall: Finish our drinks go out in the ally and whip stuff.
Ted: God. You just get me.
— That’s Ted, voicing my feelings about this show. This show just freaking gets me.
Before I begin, though:
It seems like most of the television I actually care about is being grouped on Mondays and Thursday this year. I remember a few years ago, when I watched like 15 shows on Tuesdays. When that happens, it’s a little bit like Solomon threatening to split the baby (actually, it’s not a whole lot like that, but I think you get my meaning). You must choose one. So when Veronica Mars season 3 was up against House, I eventually chose House (because the second half of VM season 3 made my heart ache with the memory of how good it had been).
So when House moved to Mondays at the end of the year, I had to make my choice. And, turns out it was kind of easy, as I’d sort of been drifting out of caring about House for a little while. I’ll youtube the House/Wilson parts and, in the meantime, watch How I Met Your Mother. [yes, I know, I read tonight’s episode of House was really good, but I’m still sort of sick of 2 or 3 amazing episodes followed by 12 craptastic episodes, with waaaaay too much Thirteen, so I’m sticking to my original plan on this one]
Because, oh my God I missed these people so much.
Let’s start at the beginning:
The bust of Socrates with the quote, “All I know is I know nothing.” And there we have a bit of a thematic statement for the episode– an episode full of lies and misunderstandings by basically everyone on the show. That statement also, for me anyway, hearkened back to one of the greatest Douchey CollegeTed moments of the show (“It’s like Descartes says, ‘In order to determine whether there is anything we can know with certainty, we first have to doubt everything we know,’ you know?”) Proffessor Professor Ted definitely owed a lot to CollegeTed in the attitude department today.
Barney and Robin. Robin and Barney. My BROTP. Lily eating the ice cream and crying over the lack of RELATIONSHIP between Robin and Barney gave me a wonderful flashback to Lily’s attempts to gain weight for her wedding (I couldn’t find the clip on youtube, but let’s just say: Alyson Hannigan is a PRO at crying while eating). And yeah, even though I basically knew it was coming, I totally joined Lily in her “WOOOOOO” into the opening credits.
This episode confirmed, again, for the millionth time, that Marshall, Ted, Barney and Robin are just puppets and Lily is master of them all. From lulling Barney into agreeing with her that definitions are important, to manipulating Barney and Robin into pretending to be fake Boyfriend and Girlfriend when they were, in fact, already Boyfriend and Girlfriend… when she wants something, she makes it happen.
Barney’s tiny little realization that maybe he and Robin were more serious than he thought was fun. It gave them an excuse to use a patented set of Barney rules, and introduce the idea of Tuxedo nights, which totally sound like something Barney and Ted would do. Marshall would also rock a tux, though, so throw the guy a bone. Literally all he did this episode was whip things, so next time, let’s let him participate in Tux Night, okay? Otherwise he’s just going to MAKE HIS OWN TUXEDO NIGHT (spoiler alert!)
Brad asking Robin out was, maybe, a little out of the blue, but I’m okay with that because a) Brad is awesome an b) Hockey fan Robin is even awesomer. On a related note, Kiss Cams are really awkward basically all of the time.
And, we come finally to Professor Ted. I was in physical pain for him, although I was also laughing my ass off at his complete cluelessness. It was a good gag and I’m also happy with the way they’re introducing the mother. Honestly, having it be one of Ted’s actual students would have been a little skeevy. Having her be a student at the university, but not an architecture student, means she’s always around, but she’s not yet in Ted’s immediate orbit. Having his job be so important in their final connection makes all the “If I hadn’t run into Stella (and Tony who got me a job as a professor at Columbia) then I wouldn’t have met your mother” stuff make more sense.
And so, in the end, Ted does a good job when he realizes that he doesn’t really know anything about teaching, so he should just talk about the thing he DOES know about: architecture. He stops trying to figure it all out and just lets the teaching thing happen.
And Barney, Robin, AND Lily are happy when Barney and Robin think they’ve pulled one over on Lily, but have actually been, again, as always, totally played by Lily. Because Barney and Robin don’t really know what’s best for them. (That was my attempt to tie this all back to a theme. It was a little clumsy. Actually, you know what? It was FINE because I’m tired).
- If I ever become a professor, I want an Indiana Jones hat. YoSaffBridge, please make a note of that. (I don’t want to become a professor, so this is probably moot).
- Ted’s “how do you spell professor?” moment? I have so been there. I had to think twice about it before I typed this out, but spell-check backed me up on my first guess. Seriously, though, on evaluations, I totally end up putting “Prof. ____” rather than deal with my embarrassment over forgetting how to spell it in the moment. Also, I consistently spelled definitely wrong until I was about 16. “De-finite-ly.”
- When Barney is mocking “The Talk” early on, he says “It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s just that I haven’t had a girlfriend in a really long time. I hope that doesn’t make you mad. Bleeeh.” That line, of course, makes a much more sincere appearance in Robin and Barney’s real version of “the Talk” at the end of the episode.
- “Mistake No. 3. Dude, where was the hat? Because if you’re not going to wear it, I’m taking it back!”
- “What about brunch? Is brunch cool?” “No, Ted. Brunch is not cool.” LIIIIIIIIIES!
- 20 minutes late? Yeah, there weren’t any students left by the time Ted got to his real class. Fifteen minutes late, and any self-respecting college student is out of there.
- I’m not sure if I actually made this clear, but the Barney and Robin relationship makes me SO RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY. They are basically the most awesome couple ever. No. No, they are WITHOUT A DOUBT the most awesome couple ever. Someone try to prove me wrong.