Sam the Eagle and Stephen Colbert: A Portrait of Two American Heroes

Happy 4th of July everyone!  This seems like the perfect excuse to explore something that’s been on my mind lately: the strange similarities between Sam the AMERICAN Eagle and Sir Dr. Stephen T. Colbert.  You may have noticed it before, but it goes beyond colorful plumage and a devotion to the flag.  These Heroes share many, many other qualities.

(warning… this post is very video heavy, and it’ll take a minute to load properly.  But please scroll down to the bottom for some actually serious links)

stephenandsam

A messy personal life.

The Evidence:  Colbert has a problem with sexual harassment (Meg the Intern) and stalking (Charlene).  He also has some problems with some suppressed feeling for his building manager Tad (those pillowy lips and all), and baby carrots, which are obviously trying to turn him gay.  Sam the Eagle has a flighty relationship with his wife, and a son and daughter he would… rather not talk about.  Actually, Sam’s life sounds alright in comparison, doesn’t it?

Let’s go the videotape:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

They have a propensity for shooting themselves in the foot.

The Evidence: Because both Sam and Stephen are confident in their own correctness at all times, they can sometimes get into embarrassing situations when they realize that their rightness will not be particularly beneficial to them, when applying their rules to themselves will actually hurt them.  At this point, it’s best to turn and run.

Let’s go to the videotape:

Duets!

The Evidence: Both Stephen and Sam have performed duets with a talented pianist.  These duets are awesome.

Let’s go the videotape:

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(this is my favorite though)

AMERICA!

The Evidence: Both Stephen and Sam love America.  They love it a lot.  And they will express their love in song.

Let’s go to the videotape:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Both are arbiters of Taste and Cultural Worth

The Evidence: Sam wants everything on the weird-o Muppet Show to have some redeeming cultural value.  Deciding what that means is his greatest joy in life.  Stephen, likewise, knows what is cultural and what is not.  Example: Stephen Colbert himself is an important cultural institution.

Let’s go to the videotape:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

They have absolute faith in their own rightness in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary

The Evidence: Colbert, as he admitted in his very first episode of the Report, doesn’t trust facts.  He feels the news at you.  Sam is much the same way.  He knows what he’s talking about, and if you disagree with him then you obviously do not know what you’re talking about.  I mean, who DOESN’T know that the Sound of Music is a Shakespearean work?

Let’s go to the videotape:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

They support traditional values:

The Evidence: Sam doesn’t approve of inter-species dating, and he doesn’t understand while all of these rats and animals have to do such distasteful things all the time.  He must censor this.  Stephen also places a great emphasis on traditional values, and he disapproves on non-traditional relationships.

Let’s go to the videotape:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Both have a distaste for bears

The Evidence: This is where the comparison really comes together.  Stephen Colbert, as has been established, hates bears because they are Godless Killing Machines.  Sam the Eagle hates bears because they tell distasteful jokes.  Honestly, it’s like these guys are twins.

Let’s go to the videotape:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Both have American Eagle sons

The Evidence: While Sam doesn’t like to talk about his son (studying taxidermy…  so shameful), Stephen also has an Eagle son, Stephen Jr.  Stephen Jr. is the apple of his daddy’s eye.

Let’s go the videotape:

Vodpod videos no longer available.


And, of course, no discussion of Sam and Stephen would really be complete without this:

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Happy Independence Day, Heroes!

Now, make Stephen proud and check out one of these:

  • Donors Choose— Stephen’s “Support Our Troops by supporting their children” program.
  • Buy a Wrist Strong bracelet, or give straight to The Yellow Ribbon Fund, which benefits injured service members.
  • Help out with the USO, who helped Stephen make it to Iraq.

— carmhelga

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Filed under clips, Muppet Week, television

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