Pretty in Pink was on this morning. Yes, I realize that the picture above is, in fact, from Veronica Mars. This is because I’m a genius and have realized that the main characters of VM roughly correspond to those of Pretty in Pink.
Follow my logic.
The Spunky Heroine from the Lower End of the Socioeconomic Scale
Veronica and Andie. Veronica’s more jaded (maybe because her best friend was murdered?), and Andie’s fashion sense is stranger, but they’re both tough girls just trying to get some respect from the really horrible (often rich) people who go to their schools. Both also know what it’s like to have their mother run out on them. And they’re both kind of adorable.
The Awesome (Male) Best Friend
Wallace and Duckie. This one doesn’t work quite as well. Duckie’s much more…flamboyant, and Wallace isn’t in love with his gal pal. And you’ll never find me ranting about how Veronica should have ended up with Wallace. But Wallace and Duckie are the most reliable friends the heroines have. They’re always there to provide comfort, support, and the occasional Otis Redding song. Again, this is complicated by Duckie’s feelings for Andie–he does become a bit of a jerk out of jealousy–but he proves in the end that their friendship is more important to him than his own romantic hopes.
The Kind of Flaky but Awesome Best (Girl) Friend
Lilly and Iona. They’re not exactly the most stable people in the world, but we like them anyway. They’re not the smartest when it comes to guys, and they’re maybe a little crazy, but they’re also good friends to their respective heroines.
The Rich Guy whom the Heroine Inexplicably Likes Even Though He’s Kind of Dumb
The Rich Boy Love Interest
Duncan and Blaine. The rich guys who aren’t afraid to face their prejudiced family and friends in order to be with the girl they love. Expect for the part where they totally are. Duncan and Blaine are a little wishy-washy. They’re easily swayed by their jerky friends and scary family. And yeah, Duncan has a better excuse because he thought Veronica was his sister, but he still dumps her with no explanation and then lets her face school-wide hatred without much support. And Blaaaaine. He, too, starts avoiding his supposed love interest because of a little peer pressure, only to change his mind again at the prom. Remind me why I’m supposed to like these two?
The Obligatory Psychotic Jackass
Logan and Steff. They’re the best friends of the main love interest, the jerks who tell him not to waste his time pining over that dumb girl. They both have a tendency to date skanky women. They’re rich, and they like it that way. They’re…well…jackasses. Early on, Logan is arguably as unlikeable as Steff. As the first season progresses, though, we learn more about Logan, and he becomes less jerky. He, unlike his BFF, has no problem standing by Veronica despite her less than stellar reputation. This, of course, makes me wonder if Steff could have gotten to the same place if he were in a TV series instead of a movie. Like Logan, he does have some feelings for the heroine. I’m pretty sure that unlike Movie-Steff, TV-Series-Steff would have gotten some sympathetic backstory and a better chance at winning the heroine’s heart after showing signs of potential redemption. And then everyone (and let’s face it, that includes me) would love him despite hating him so passionately in the beginning. I know this is possible, because it’s exactly what happened with Logan. Also: The Obligatory Psychotic Jackass is always the most attractive guy. It’s some weird rule.
Note: These comparisons don’t really work so well with Some Kind of Wonderful, but at least that one has the right ending.